It’s my MARKet, so I’m gonna share…A man is suing BMW claiming that the motorcycle he bought from them caused him to have a 20-hour erection. In related news, BMW motorcycles has decided on their new advertising campaign…Kris Jenner, mother of the Kardashian spawn, tweeted a photo of daughter Kim sleeping earlier this month. This was apparently news as it showed Kim without makeup. More noteworthy though is the photo finally refuted the rumors that Succubai don’t sleep…. How bad must the medical care in Venezuela be that President Hugo Chavez travels to Cuba for treatment of cancer? Cuba. The land where the 1962 DeSoto is the hot, new car…We are one month into the new baseball season and two stories are taking shape. First, Albert Pujols, arguably the best player in the game today, still hasn’t hit a home run for his new team the LA Angels. The other big story is the Mets have not been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs yet…Donald Trump endorsed Mitt Romney for President, so that kinda settles it all, right? Seriously though, is there anyone anywhere asking themselves “What would Trump do?” before they go into the voting booth? The only time I see that question becoming relevant is when I consider putting a raccoon on my head…I think it’s time to thin the herd a bit. If you are one of those folks who get to a traffic light and don’t bother hitting your turn signal until after there are already cars behind you, please line up at the nearest death chamber…The Secret Service embarrassed themselves, and the USA, on a recent visit to Columbia by getting into a price dispute with a prostitute following an evening of drunken fun. The dispute allegedly focused on one agent refusing to pay his rented “friend” $28. A man charged with securing the leader of the free world decided to make a scene and create an international incident over what amounted to the cost three lattes from Starbucks. Given the rocket science-levels of thinking and secret keeping going on here, I am pretty sure we can safely put to bed any Dealey Plaza conspiracy theories now. I mean, if these guys can’t keep a night with a hooker on the down-low, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to stay quiet about hidden shooters on the grassy knoll…Forever teenager and long-time TV host Dick Clark died recently. New Year’s Eve will never be the same without him. Now the ball dropping and the countdown by the host will both actually end at the same time……The hottest thing in publishing now is a book called 50 Shades of Grey, an erotic tale detailing the relationship between a recent female college graduate and a manipulative billionaire. Women everywhere can’t wait to get their hands on the book, though reportedly are using only one hand to read it……A hologram of dead rapper Tupac Shakur “performed” at Coachella Music Festival earlier this month. The illusion was apparently so lifelike and successful there is talk of a hologram Michael Jackson going on tour soon. Joining him backstage will be hologram children for him to molest……I got to see the Space Shuttle Enterprise arrive in New York via a piggy-back ride atop a 747 and the only word I can come up with to describe the site is majestic. I can’t wait to see it even closer when it finally arrives at its new home, the Intrepid Air and Space Museum…I wrote at the beginning of the TV season that The Office looked promising despite the loss of Steve Carell. However the recent episodes of The Office have been absolutely unwatchable. On the other hand, both How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory continue to provide laughs on a consistent basis……After saluting crack addict Whitney Houston with flags flown at half-mast, NJ Governor Chris Christie was next seen sleeping during a Bruce Springsteen concert. Next on his agenda is moving the equipment around just before Stevie Wonder takes the stage……I am halfway through the second season of Game of Thrones and while I would still struggle a bit to clearly explain all the various plot points, the show is absolutely riveting and beautifully filmed……Despite being a monster football fan, I find the NFL draft mostly unwatchable. It’s a cattle auction where most of the meat won’t make it to your team’s plate. Tough to get invested in guys you will never see or hear about again. That being said, I do read the aftermath of the draft and there was no better analysis than that given by Sports Illustrated magazine’s Peter King. His write up of the three day, seven round choose-fest succinctly broke down what you needed to know after the fact with some great insider news and none of the non-stop ESPN droning……I’m not saying we all have short attention spans, but does anyone remember just a few months ago when Jeremy Lin was the most hated man in the world and Joseph Kony was the best Knick player we had seen in years? Or something like that……President Obama is taking heat for using the killing of Osama bin Laden in campaign ads. And that’s fair cause George Bush never (prematurely) stepped in front of a “Mission Accomplished” banner to suit his own purposes……OK, I’ve shared. Agree? Disagree? Share the joy with your friends. Share the outrage with your family. Have at it. See you next month.
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